things getting better..?

things getting better??well..initially i felt that it is getting better...
but when i try to think deeper...
i dun really knw whether it is getting better or not!!
maybe its juz a way to convince myself that things are getting better...
when i think deeper and deeper again...
am i pretending?pretending that everything is is running very smooth...
so that i will feel that it is getting better...!!
well...i knw that self control is very important...
and this is what im doing everyday!!SELF CONTROL
some how...if u ask me,am i pretending??
lol...i dun even knw am i pretending!!??
or maybe i juz get use to it?treat this as so call 'normal' already?
there must be some lessons that im gonna learn...
but...what are the lessons??i cant guess it...
are these lessons going to affect my future lifez?
some how,i can feel it...it can affect my future life!
maybe this is juz the period for me to go through...
but its kinda suffer...
juz forcing myself go step by step...
guess...this is only what i can do...!!
dun continue to act like this...'drawing' and making yr own face dirty only!!
i mean someone...

~eRiC mOo~